“Please, not again. Not again!”
Those were the pitiful cries heard from a scratched up, faded and battered USB flash drive on Monday evening as it’s owner inserted it once again, preparing to make it host to their latest distro hopping adventure.
...Amidst the increasingly agitated calls of his wife that dinner was ready, 44 year old local man, Stephen Levine, pledged he would install just one more desktop theme, sources say.
...BIOPOLIS, SINGAPORE - the field of genetics is abuzz as a 3-man research team has discovered what appears to be “debugging code” in human DNA.
...PORTLAND, OREGON - Tensions run high as local police surround the home of 38 year old man, Johnny McGraw. Reports say the man is holding his mother hostage and has made several large demands, including delivery of a helicopter and a large cache of weaponry, amidst the chaos following the man attempting to use the ‘sudo’ program to elevate his privileges.
...Aliens are avoiding Earth due to humanity’s ongoing ability to allow themselves to be subjugated and locked into proprietary platforms. That’s according to aliens themselves, who say that humanity has truly revealed themselves to be a “lost cause”.
...Oslo, Norway - In a stunning upset victory, newcomer “Cloudvergence” won the 2017 Buzzshit Awards, a title that promotes and rewards astounding contributions in the hype marketing field.
...Traditional privacy focused apps and “no track” add-ons are out, and the digital tentacles of data miners and security agencies are in. At least, that’s the case for 34 year old local man Jack Hiscox.
...Peering through the bedroom door as their son interacted with various onscreen colourful buttons and windows at the same time as uploading photos to Instagram, the parents of local teen, Michael Angelo, couldn’t hide their obvious disappointment.
Speaking to reporters from their home on Thursday, David and Diana Angelo made it clear that 16 year old Michael wasn’t the computer wizz they had hoped for.
...In another stunning display of feature creep, the systemd project is set to declare independence as a sovereign nation in the middle of Fall of 2017.
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